Start Spreading the Snooze

American Idol’s New York Auditions (1.24.07)

© Deanna Couras Goodson

Isadora, You Tube
For a city that never sleeps and boasts an impressive talent pool, why didn't the auditions in New York for this season's 'American Idol' impress or keep me awake?

American Idol hit New York with high hopes. I shared them. I just want to find people who are not so delusional like these two.

IAN BENARDO

First off, I am put off by the fact that he’s wearing his name on his shirt and a chinchilla. Both of these accessories are cruel and senseless…even inhuman. Ian tells anyone who will listen that he’s a superstar. Sure, in the Molly Shannon-SNL-skit sense of the word. Not in reality. He sings with a thick New York accident. “Ahhh-ummm Kohhl-llingg yewww!”

It’s like nails on a chalkboard.

Then, he really reams Simon, telling him that he doesn’t need Brit to tell him, an American, anything negative. He wants to call National Geographic to announce that the dodo bird is NOT extinct. It’s alive and well and called Simon Cowell.

Funny. Maybe he should try out for Last Comic Standing next.

JULIE “ISADORA” FURHMAN

The clairvoyant should’ve skipped the auditions. She should’ve known how they’d have gone. She can’t sing. Her rendition of Pattie LaBelle’s “Lady Marmalade” was laughable and she had more difficulty answering questions than Paula Abdul on a media tour. (Did that take it too far?)

Of course, New Yawk was not a total loss. There were some seriously talented peeps like:

ANTONELLA BARBA

Not only is this “Jersey-Girl” beautiful and long-limbed, she can sing. She auditioned with her best friend, Amanda, who also made it to Hollywood, but she is by far the better singer. She’s also a good friend who refused to ‘kick her friend when she was down’ as per Simon’s advice. I predict she’ll go far.

PORCELANA PATINO

If you can get past her first name, Porcelana is definitely as she describes herself, an “American Idol soldier”. She works out religiously twice a day and has whittled some serious pounds off her frame. She impressed Randy and Simon with her chiseled body and her soulful voice. I like her spunk, spirit and her voice – even if it is a little too deep.

Note: Porcelana released her own CD in 2003 called A Taste of Queens. Will that be a problem going forward?

NICHOLAS PEDRO

Sure, he’s good. The handsome dude made it to Hollywood last year and couldn’t learn the words to “Buttercup” so he bowed out of the competition. I was surprised that the judges let him back in. I wouldn’t have. Hopefully, he’s learned to handle the pressure better. If not, don’t let him try again.

JENRY BEJARANO

Paula told him he was “easy on the eyes”. Oh man is she right! Unfortunately he’s sixteen and technically young enough to be my son (At 33, I feel so old sometimes). He looks like a younger Tyson Beckford. He sings great and is a shoo-in for Hollywood. I think he’s top-ten material.

All in all 35 auditioners made it to Hollywood from The Big Apple. It was a much better showing than normal, but still is it good enough? I’m not sure. I mean I’m waiting for something big, but I haven’t really seen it yet.


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