Review: Series Premiere of 13: Fear is Real
Reality Horror Show Lacks Scares and Entertainment
The new reality series 13: Fear is Real is neither chilling nor charming. It’s Survivor meets Saw, and that’s a deadly combination for viewers.
The show’s premise is simple. Twelve attractive 20-somethings (and one mo-hawked ghost hunter named Cody) head out into the Louisiana Bayou to live in a ramshackle cabin and survive a real-life horror movie. Sort of.
Obviously, the contestants aren’t in any real danger because this is all just a game with some hefty prize money at stake. Despite this, the 13 players cry and scream like the cameramen are wielding machetes.
This Horror Reality Show's Competitions Aren't All That Frightening
During the first competition, in which one member of a two-person team gets tied up in the woods while the partner plays hero and rushes out to find his or her teammate, the bound and gagged young ladies sob like they’re auditioning for a Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequel. It all seems rather absurd considering they know it’s just a reality television show.
The rules for these competitions are revealed to the contestants by “the Mastermind”, a host who is never seen but only heard via tape recorders and cellular phones. His voice is obviously meant to sound like Jigsaw from the Saw films, but at times it is more reminiscent of Hulk Hogan using a voice changer. (One half expects him to spew forth recognizable catch phrases like, “What’cha gonna do, brother, when your partner comes into the woods searching for you?”)
When not occupied with challenges, the contestants take some time to relax during the day and offer such brilliant insights as, “I think it’s natural to feel safer when the sun is out.”
This is where the show becomes typical reality-TV fare, with the thirteen players (a group consisting of a model, a bartender and a rapping concierge, among others) plotting against one another and showing that they do indeed know this is just a game.
First Contestant Eliminated in Week One
However, one blonde-haired beauty up for “execution” (in other words, elimination) admitted to being so scared she could “puke, and cry, and have a heart attack at the same time” before she met her fate. Yikes.
While the notion of being buried alive for the execution ceremony certainly instilled fear into poor Lauren, watching the two contestants lying motionless via coffin-cam after being placed six feet (nay, more like six inches) under is hardly entertainment.
With the premiere episode done, Lauren having been “killed off” this week for failing to escape her coffin, 11 victims and one future winner remain. If future episodes are as dreadful as this, though, most viewers likely won’t stick around to see who claims that $66,666 in prize money.
Executive produced by Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert of Evil Dead fame, 13: Fear is Real premiered January 7 and airs Wednesdays on The CW.
The cast of 13: Fear is Real
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