Lap Dances and Broken Romances
I Love New York (1.22.07)
Jan 24, 2007 Deanna Couras Goodson
The guys are hanging out and comparing bodies. Bonez, who got his name due to his rail-thin physique, is showing off his less-than-manly chest. 12-Pack is playing along and quips that ‘yeah, you might be able to see his muscle definition on his stomach, but you can also see his colon’. Bonez takes the teasing in good fun. He’s so nice.
Whiteboy gets call from home in which he learns that a friend has passed away and that the funeral has already happened. He’s devastated and the guys try to cheer him up. He even contemplates going home, but the guys remind him that his friend would want him to be here. Um…okay!
I’m thinking something along the lines of
Friends Don’t Let Friends Do A TV Show Called ‘I Love New York’.
But that’s just me.
Chamo, who’s dressed up in a professional manner, delivers a message from Miss New York. The guys must present their ‘earning potential’ to her later in the day. They get to make graphs and do charts. Most of the guys look so out of their league. Mr. Boston, an accountant, has no problem putting his stuff together.
12-Pack also seems to be taking this seriously. However, Pootie steals his graph and signs his name on it. Most of the guys dress up in suits for their ‘business meeting’ with New York. When they enter the office, they get a major surprise. Omarosa is there to decide who’s got the most earning potential. The winner receives a one-on-one date with New York.
Omarosa is very intimidating and doesn’t seem to like most of the guys except for Onix. Omarosa and New York kind of joke over who’ll get him in the end. Mr Boston is impressing the heck out of New York’s mama, who is ready to call him ‘son-in-law.’ Oh man!
T-weed says he’s worth over 100 million but has no documentation to support this. Pootie tells everyone he’s broke and then runs crying out of the office. Tango and a few of the guys go to help him out. Pootie then falls unconscious down a flight of stairs and an ambulance is called.
Whiteboy is upset at Tango for ‘interfering’ and blames him for upsetting Pootie. Tango is angry that Whiteboy takes issue with him for helping someone. I’m kinda on Tango’s side here…although I can see Whiteboy’s point. They almost come to blows. Almost.
Back at the house, New York announces that T-weed wins the date with her. Sister Patterson asks him to sign documentation allowing her to do a credit check on him. He does. Apparently, no one believes he’s worth $100,000,000. Neither do I, but…a credit check. Oh my!
Pootie wins a date with Sister Patterson. He’s the lowest potential earner. Talk about adding insult to injury.
During the dates, T-weed monopolizes the conversation and bores New York to tears. However, she says if he’s worth as much as he says he is she’d make him Mr. New York tomorrow…but she doesn’t care about the money.
Pootie starts shaking and can’t stop. He freaks Sister Patterson out so she ends the date early and tells New York about her concerns. She thinks Pootie needs to go home. The next day, New York announces they’ll have a relaxing barbecue. Tango and she discuss Pootie.
Tango tells New York his concerns and tells Pootie he needs to go get some help. Pootie agrees and leaves to everyone’s relief, even his own. Meanwhile Mr. Boston is working on his dance moves and shows the guys how he plans to delight New York with a lap dance later.
At the BBQ, not only does New York get that lap dance and a kiss from Mr. Boston, she gets a sexy back rub from Tango. The guys hate Tango right now and try to whisk New York away to the Jacuzzi. It takes ‘em a bit, but she obliges and sits on Chance’s lap for the majority of the time.
I hope she takes a chemical bath afterwards. Yuck!
New York and Mama discuss who’s gonna stay and who’s gotta go. In the end, New York sends home Bonez and T-weed. Bonez because he is too nice for her. She says she doesn’t want “to corrupt him.” T-weed goes ‘cuz his credit report shows he’s broke, not the multi-millionaire he said he was.
Next week it looks like the guys gang up on Mr. Boston. The drama is so not over in the House of New York.
What do you think about this article?
More in Film & TV
Latest Articles