Simon, Paula, Randy and Ryan paid a visit to the Lone Star state. Did they find some talent, or just more of the same?
11,000 people showed up at the Alamodome to audition for season six of American Idol. Some were good. Others were hideous. Let’s not waste anymore time with stating the obvious, okay?
SO-SO TALENT:
Baylie Brown. What a pretty little thing she is! Baylie comes from a small town and has big dreams. She is, as Simon called her, “commercial with a capital C.” He’d know – didn’t he have something to do with The Spice Girls? However, he did say that her voice needed some work.
So, is this a beauty pageant or a vocal competition? I’m confused.
Ashlyn Carr. The judges originally dismissed the soulful diva. However, they were big enough to admit their mistake and called her back in. They asked her to please stop making faces while she sang – which I didn’t pick up on ‘til they pointed out, and gosh darn it, they was right!
Akron Watson. He and his cousin auditioned together. Akron has a great voice, but is weak in the personality. Hopefully, he can borrow some from his tone-deaf cousin. If you combined ‘em, they’d have made a great contestant.
ONE REALLY BRIGHT SPOT:
Jimmy McNeal. He’s, by far, my favorite of the night. He does have that Teddy-Bear quality like Ruben Studdard. He’s also got a great voice and a killer smile. I predict big things for mini-Ruben.
OH NO, THEY DIDN'T:
Jasmine Holland. No, she couldn’t sing as well as she thought she could. However, her mom and friends couldn’t speak as well as they thought they could. After Jasmine was told NO by the judges, her mom got so upset, she was like, “Where is Simon from? French?” Ryan says, “No, he’s British.” Jasmine’s mom replies, “Well, he better go back to British then.”
Hmmm? Where is British? It’s England, lady. C’mon now. I know Texas’ education system is low on the totem scale – in 2005 it was in 33rd place out of 50 states – but, OMIGOD!
Sandie Chavez. She’s a music teacher who’s sung for the mayor of Houston. Now, she holds her ear with her finger – this is not a good sign – and then blasts out Alannah Myles’ “Black Velvet”. Whoa! I turned to my hubby and said, “I didn’t know the Mayor of Houston was deaf.”
She was hideous. Simon was right. She should’ve apologized.
Brian Kyrish. The ‘rocker’, who says he won a mock-AI competition, screamed Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell”. After hearing him, I wanted to scream and burn my Billy Idol vinyls. Sorry, Billy. You need to sue this dude. He sucks.
Jacob Tutor. He is the worst of the night, I suppose. Perhaps, that’s why they saved him for last. He couldn’t sing. He looked a bit silly and was way too “dark” for the competition, whatever that means. He lists Kurt Cobain and Axl Rose as his inspirations. I’ve never felt sadder for Axl Rose in my life.
Tonight is the Best of the Best (and the Worst of the Worst). I’ll have the recap for y’all tomorrow.
